Andrew Solomon’s new book Far From the Tree: Children and the Search for Identity is book of the week on BBC Radio 4 and all over the review pages, here and in the USA at the moment – excitingly for me because I had the great good luck to design not one but two kitchens for Andrew, first in London and then in a New York brownstone.  For his Notting Hill house he asked me to focus the design around a versatile table on which he could write, entertain at least eight people and prepare food while facing into the room, all in a tight space.  This called for ingenuity.  We came up with a portable chopping box that could be positioned on and off the end of the table nearest the cooker, to be removed for a dinner party when the guests appeared.

Andrew wrote his book over a ten year period, using the table in both kitchens, aided by tubs of ice cream.

Far from the Tree, a dozen kinds of love is about parents having to adapt to their children turning out entirely different from themselves, offspring that are uniquely challenging rather than reproductions of their parents.  In a sense this is the position of all parents, but the cases researched with the greatest care and dedication for this book are extreme ones that include one of the Columbine massacre perpetrators as well as autism and physical disabilities. It is a rare and moving book that I feel will expand our empathy and tolerance for those who appear different, and explores the question of identity and illness.

His London kitchen: A portable chopping box at the far end of the table raises the preparation surface to the right height but allows for the table to used for dining or as a copious desk when needed.

As many have already pointed out, there is something of a personal connection here between writer and subject matter, given that Andrew Solomon is a gay parent.  Apart from the publicity surrounding the book, he was been in my mind during the recent reporting of the House of Commons debate on legalizing gay marriage.  Hardly surprisingly, I am in favour.  What could possibly be wrong with the criteria for marriage being love and commitment rather than straight sexuality?  The MPs who voted against – or, like ours, failed to support – this change for the better proposed by David Cameron seem to me to represent stultifying   conformity.

In admittedly a very different context I have always fought this kind of thinking.  I always ask why kitchens have to fit tight stereotypes of ‘farmhouse’ (bogus), units-round-walls etc.  Instead, a kitchen can be out in the garden, or a large stiletto heel can support a chopping block. And decoration can come in personal shapes and sizes. Needless to say I enjoyed working with him on both projects and appreciate the amount of trust he gave me to interpret his requirements.

Russian art preferences to reflect Andrew’s experience in Moscow - Constructivist dinner plates, Cyrillic lettering and Coptic patterns on the cornice.*

Andrew’s New York kitchen, above, is more lavish than his Notting Hill house and features Russian script around its walls, as a tribute to time spent with dissidents around his kitchen table, while he worked through their passport applications with them.

You can see him cooking with his three year old son George: http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7409112n&tag=showDoorFlexGridLeft;flexGridModule

*To my own benefit the inclusion of his Manhattan kitchen in my book Kitchen Culture may have contributed to its being published in a Russian Edition. It is still in print from Art Rosnik Publishing House, Moscow.

Far from the Tree is reviewed by Tim Adams in the Guardian. http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2013/feb/10/far-from-tree-solomon-review

It’s not mobile internet but a home that can bring families together, three generations in one property. The USA recorded 41 million such families in 2008, representing 16% of households, a rapidly growing movement. Britain has around one million households with children, one or both parents and grandparents living in what is now described as 3G households. It begs the question whether this is progress, a society under pressure or the embracing of a new kind of sociability, or a return to traditional living patterns.

Outbuildings provide creative opportunities for 3G living

A Home for the Heart by Angela Neustatter shows us how households of the future might look. With terms such as ‘boomerang’, (returning kids) ’sandwich’ (young kids, grandparents) or ‘friendship’ or elective families, now known as ‘framilies’ there is a sense of many possible ways to live.

Neustatter describes the way her marriage was able to survive through changed living arrangements, she and her husband living in separate spaces of their tall terraced house and also sharing it with her son and his family. It’s a good thought that buildings can keep together and nuture family lives, that they have a lifelike capacity - and that designers can help make this happen.

Some people consider cohabiting with our parents or grown up kids as a sign of failure, but the extended families of the past can be seen as perfect for current times. With high house prices and mortgages hard to get, surely it is better to be together in a familiar environment, albeit in slightly less expansive conditions? It’s better than renting tiny rooms in buildings where we have little control of immediate surroundings, often without access to a garden and where we can’t control noise and one’s immediate neighbours’ behaviour, mostly for the sake of independence.

Becca, my wife, and I are lucky enough to have a home with enough garden to accommodate outbuildings (including the studio in which I am writing this). We have four kids, three grown up. What better than to adapt the property, if and when there is the chance to live as a 3G family? As we are about to become grandparents for the first time it is suddenly a real prospect. All the kids were brought up in this house and have a deep attachment to the place. In the writer Will Self’s words, ‘the gradual accretion of memories, that perfuse mere bricks and mortar and possessions, end up, quite inevitably creating a genuine sense of home’. Experiencing this concept of home as a sphere of safety, pleasure and love gives tremendous confidence to growing children.

Why ditch all this unless there is a good reason? Living longer in your home and altering it to accommodate other generations requires compromises on space and décor but offers emotional glue, psycho-geographical support when needed. When not, the familiarity of their walls breeds a relaxed ambience, financial safety and three generational well-being.

——————————————————————————————

I thoroughly recommend, particularly for my American readers, Together Again, a creative guide to successful multigenerational living, by Sharon G Niederhaus and John L Graham. It’s a mini-compendium of practical and personal advice and also covers sociological, philosophical and psychological aspects for those interested in living together as 3G families. She also refers, in one chapter to how possessive women can be about their own kitchens, the pitfalls and joys of sharing. Kitchen designers note!

————————————————————————————

This week, we’ll be posting a few of Johnny’s favorite recipes from Elizabeth David’s Christmas in the spirit of the holidays. Send us your photos of Elizabeth’s dishes in your kitchen and we’ll post them on Grey Matters. Happy Cooking!

It is not generally known that pumpkin can make an excellent chutney, rich and dark. The recipe below produces a mixture with a taste which is spicy but not to sharp; the pumpkin slices retain something of their shape, and shine translucently through the glass jars.

Green grocers very often sell pumpkins by the piece; a whole one is, of course, cheaper, but remember that once it is cut it will not keep longer than about ten days.

Ingredients are a 2 ½ lb piece of pumpkin (gross weight), 1 lb of ripe tomatoes, ½ lb of onions, 2 cloves of garlic, 2 oz of sultanas, ¾ lbs each of soft dark brown sugar and white caster sugar, 2 tablespoons of salt, 2 scant teaspoons each of ground ginger, black peppercorns and allspice berries, 1 ¼ pints of wine vinegar or cider vinegar.

Peel the pumpkin, discard seed and cottony center. Slice, then cut into pieces roughly 2 inches wide and long and ½ inch thick. Pour boiling water over the tomatoes, skin and slice them. Peel and slice the onions and the garlic.

Put all solid ingredients, including spices (crush the peppercorns and allspice berries in a mortar) and sugar, in your preserving pan. (For chutneys, always use heavy aluminum, never untinned copper jam pans.) Add vinegar. Bring gently to the boil, and then cook steadily, but not at a gallop, until the mixture is jammy. Skim from time to time, and toward the end of the cooking, which will take altogether about 50 minutes, stir very frequently. Chutney can be a disastrous sticker if you don’t give it your full attention during the final stages.

This is a long-keeping chutney, but, like most chutneys, it is best if cooked to a moderate set only; in other words it should still be a little bit runny; if too solid it will quickly dry up.

Ladle into pots, which should be filled right to the brim. When cold cover with rounds of waxed paper, and then with a double layer of thick greaseproof paper. (Or use jars with plastic-lined lids that will not be corroded by vinegar. JN) Transparent covers that let in the light are not suitable for chutney.

The yield from these quantities will be approximately 3 ½ lb; and although it may be a little more extravagant as regards fuel and materials, I find chutney cooked in small batches more satisfactory than when produced on a large scale.

It is worth noting that should it be more convenient, all ingredients for the chutney can be prepared, mixed with sugar and vinegar, and left for several hours or over night (but not longer than 12 hours) in a covered bowl before cooking.

*Recipe from Elizabeth David’s Christmas, David R. Godine: Boston, 2008. US Edition, p 138-139.